Posted on 21-04-2008
Filed Under (Uncategorized) by admin

Divorced parents seldom have enough time for themselves. Here are three practical tips to help you create that much needed alone time.

Because you’re a divorced mom or dad, you’ve probably already felt the pinch of not having enough time for yourself. I think that it’s a perfect time to let the folks who love you, help you. You can lean on your family and friends now to give yourself some alone time. Don’t abuse the privilege though. Just use these practical tips reasonably and you and your children will both benefit.

ONE: Lean on your parents. I know it’s a bit embarasing burdening them with what you see as ‘only your’ problems, because you might have had some words with them because of the divorce. Whatever the case may be, they remain your parents just the same, and beneath words you might have experienced with them, they love you still. That will never change. They should be helping you through this tough time in your life. It isn’t that much to ask to have them baby sit for you a couple times a month so that you can catch a breather. I suspect if you discussed this with them, they’d agree with me.

TWO: Lean on your ex in-laws. Yep, you heard me right. Your children will always be the grandchildren they adore even if they are unhappy with your for divorcing your ex. I have a friend who’s ex mother-in-law told her “You can divorce him, but you can’t divorce me. I want to experience my grandkids.” I’d recommend asking for their assistance when you’ve got some workaday jobs that would get done a lot faster if you didn’t have your children with you - things like shopping for groceries or visiting your divorce attorney. Just be straight and to the point. Tell them you could use their help.

THREE: Lean on a good friend: Everyone has at least one, special someone that they can confide in. Who is that person that always has your best interest at heart? Who do you know that really cares for both you and your kids? Talk to them. Ask them for some help with what you have to do now without the husband or wife that you had before. If you don’t ask for help excessively, they would more than likely feel warm and fuzzy when you ask them to help out, and your kids will have special time alone with their grandparents.

And finally, just take some time to put a plan in action. We all feel better when we have something to look forward to. If you can sit down with some of these important people and make up some sort of schedule, you and your kids will benefit greatly! Then, your divorce won’t be nearly as painful as it was before you asked, and , you’ll have created that much-needed time for yourself.

About the author

Len Stauffenger’s parents taught him life’s simple wisdom. As a divorced dad, he wanted to share that simple wisdom with his girls. “Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents,” his book, is the solution. Len is an author, a Success Coach and an Attorney. http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com

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